the diet is going well, resulting with a whopping ten pounds lost. and there is more to come, my commitment and will power are standing strong. but im hurting, i really need to stop doing this to myself. over reading into everything, trying way too hard, pushing them away. hey it seems to be what i do best. the old funny storm needs to come back from vacation. what has happened to the old me? reward for anyone who has any information about this missing storm. she needs to return home soon.

so a summer of complete suckage is about to commence. im dreading working at camp again this summer. too bad i just cant live at the beach and party ‘er day. working on me, and its an ongoing battle. hopefully ill come out who i want to be on the other end of this thing.

this has to be the most difficult thing ive ever done. i know what i want, and i know getting there is never easy and my mind is finding this quite discouraging. but my want is a want indirectly that works against me. i want it so someone will want me. i want to be strong and confident, and accepting of myself but how can i accept myself when i cant bare the reflection in the mirror. its one twisted cycle of self loathing and lack of appreciation. i have some serious things i need to figure out. i need to get my ass in gear, for if i dont no one will for me. time to man up to my own flaws and change things myself.

i really need to gain some self confidence. i tired of always caring about what others think about me. and im tired of being scared to put myself out there. i need some self improvement. need to work on me.

im tired of looking in the mirror everyday and being disgusted by what i see. so here my motivation. the only way anyone can ever look at me in a positive way is if i do first. not willing to accept that this outer shell is who i am, i am determined to shed the extra pounds, and finally start loving me. its hard for others to understand what i go through, you can say you know but you really dont. ive been battling with this my whole life and now i am determined to do something about it. lets change my exterior to reflect the wonderful interior everyone claims i possess. tomorrow is the official first day of this new me. so lets make this change, and lets start if off right!